When Texas children see their parents go through a divorce, it’s not uncommon for them to build up an emotional wall and refuse to talk to anyone about what they’re feeling. While many children from divorced parents benefit from working with a licensed therapist, there are some steps you can take to get your children to talk about what they’re feeling about your divorce.
Encouraging honesty
Children are usually reluctant to share their true thoughts and feelings about your divorce. Younger children may assume they can somehow repair your marriage, while older kids often feel like they’re adding to their parents’ stress levels during an already difficult time. Encourage your children to be honest with you and your ex about their feelings regarding your divorce.
Establishing honesty
Your children probably won’t feel like they can be honest about their feelings until they see you put honesty into action. While you don’t want to tell your children every detail about the divorce, you can be honest with them about the fact that you’re also upset about how things turned out. Being honest with your children shows them that your home is a safe place to share their thoughts and feelings about your divorce, child custody, and other hard topics.
Asking the right kinds of questions
Asking children open-ended questions about their thoughts and feelings allows them to share their feelings. Avoid asking questions about your ex, as these questions often make children feel like they need to pick a side, or like they should be spying on their other parent.
Don’t get frustrated if your kids don’t seem to want to talk about their feelings all the time. Children process things differently and probably need time to work through their thoughts before sharing them with you. Staying engaged with your kids ensures they can share with you when ready.